he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
