Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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