If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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