I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
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The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
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We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am