Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
porn star boner night. come get it.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
and you fell through a lawn chair
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God