We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo