She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
