whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again