Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.