well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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