physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
