Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
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Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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