He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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