a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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