Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize