i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
