What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
