Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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