We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
