You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I understand Curling. That high.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
