she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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