no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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