First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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