what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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