I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
