I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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