If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
