apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize
