WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
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