Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!

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(630): My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea! http://tfl.nu/pudz

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(312): View more from Illinois

Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.

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(312): Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired. http://tfl.nu/6uiz

Replies (23) Good night (3835) Bad night (635)
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(707): View more from California

I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight

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(707): I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight http://tfl.nu/5bl0

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(260): View more from Indiana

Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?

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(260): Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on? http://tfl.nu/ottv

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....

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(617): wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara..... http://tfl.nu/je0j

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(816): View more from Missouri

Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?

(1-816): View more from Missouri

Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.

(816): View more from Missouri

...... wtf.

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(816): Where'd you guys get the alcohol from? (1-816): Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower. (816): ...... wtf. http://tfl.nu/k9gx

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(239): View more from Florida

Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way

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(239): Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way http://tfl.nu/7r2y

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(828): View more from North Carolina

is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?

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(828): is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear? http://tfl.nu/pkiy

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.

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(603): He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing. http://tfl.nu/abhc

Replies (3) Good night (559) Bad night (1351)
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(415): View more from California

I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.

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(415): I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape. http://tfl.nu/bbp9

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(369): View more from California

Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?

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(369): Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night? http://tfl.nu/oh80

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.

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(604): I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina. http://tfl.nu/byss

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(757): View more from Virginia

You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex

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(757): You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex http://tfl.nu/b8jn

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(250): View more from British Columbia

You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.

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(250): You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette. http://tfl.nu/i44j

Replies (1) Good night (620) Bad night (218)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer

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(306): All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer http://tfl.nu/jur4

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