I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....