Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
