marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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