Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
