what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
