I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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