Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Fuck appropriateness.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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