Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
