I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
