when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
