Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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