i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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