I'm lost and stupid without you.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
