so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
