i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
