So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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