absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
he laminated a picture of his dick.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Boobs are out for the taking
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
