fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize