He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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