I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
