Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
