And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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