An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
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Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
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Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize