Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize