Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
