thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Quick, to the slutcave!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
