like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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