I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
