oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
