The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Your penis caused this!
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