im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
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the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We have so much sex to catch up on
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I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize