Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
