I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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